Here is a poem I wrote about some of the struggles I was having while battling for my true identity between Christ and homosexuality. I felt like there was one day when I just needed to immerse myself in the presence and the all cleansing fire of Christ in an effort to burn off all the impurities. And this is the poem that resulted. In the beginning of the poem, two beings look on from outside my world. I don’t know whether they are angels or fallen angels. I just know they are curious about what I am attempting now.
What’s he doing down there?
Fighting demons. Combating fear. Consuming energy. The very essence of foreign power sources in his life.
How long can he stay down there?
As long as it takes.
Suspended in the matrix of his fear,
he floats alone,
halfway between Heaven and Hell.
The direction of either he’s unsure.
Facing down an enemy that hunts with despair, distraction, doubt,
ammunition supplied by the mind of the hunted.
He visits the battlefield this time to stare down the beast,
find a way to deactivate self inflicted paralysis.
Survival flashes scan the surface of his brain;
solar flares escaping the incestuous gravity of their master.
Cold chills sink their daggers beneath the artificial skin.
A registry of pain.
A neural override.
The mission continues.
A mental detonation sequence begins.
He embraces the biological explosive,
as frantic ticking resounds in his ears.
A proud heart beats within him.
The surrounding water electrifies.
Opposing forces unleash a maelstrom of torturous emotion.
He absorbs a volatile mixture of truth and reason;
the antidote for the virus embedded in his being.
Eyes closed, he accepts that life is radically changing.
Seconds began their final aerobic descent.
Doubt loosens the grip on its former slave.
Spiritual fire consumes the fiction,
eradicating mental errors
One more second to purity.
New circuitry pulses to life.
An explosion splinters the mortal casing.
Charred pieces slip eerily into the depths.
His true essence screams toward the surface.
A new breed of defender rises from the darkness.