It’s been less than a month since I said goodbye to Shamu and hello to another ‘Big Fish’. Big Fish Ministries to be exact. Big Fish is the mentoring program I established in 2009. When I walked away from homosexuality 14 years ago, I set aside a year of my life to learn and grow with God. I moved back in with my parents. My days were spent reading the bible, listening to radio preachers and praying for God’s daily revelation. God schooled me on His design and application for my sexuality and restored my relationship with my father. It was a pivotal year in my history.
In 2009, God led me to open up my own home to men seeking to walk away from homosexuality and seek God’s design for their sexuality as I did. In the past 4 years, we have seen great miracles. We’ve had guys accept Christ for the first time. We’ve seen men beaten up by sin and sexuality leave triumphant. Most of all we have seen the move of God that is only evident when men stand in obedience and not defiance to His commands.
Saying goodbye to Sea World after 15 years wasn’t as hard as it might seem. It was a great job, but God was calling me to something better. I see the rising tide of gay activism gaining tsunami strength. While that is great if you identify as a gay, it doesn’t bode well for people who want to follow God’s divine design for their sexuality. Were it not for the testimonies of men and women like myself, men and women who choose to leave homosexuality would surely drown in the flood. I just watched a “public service” announcement where one boy is teaching another boy not to use the word “gay” in a derogatory manner. He pimp slaps the kid across the face, not once, but twice. It was a delicious bit of irony. Apparently it is perfectly acceptable to employ the use of violence against one group in order to protect another group from violence. Kristal Cleer!
Embarking on a journey into the world of ex gay ministry would not been one that I might have chosen for myself. This ministry is about as popular in our modern day culture as Sea World is to PETA. Yet, I know that God has called me here. He redeemed a life that was stolen from me at birth by the curse of sin. Jesus saw every aspect of my life and yours played out as he hung there on that cross at Calvary. Persecution is a staple in the life of a Christian. As I have stepped out in faith over the past few months, the evidence of God’s provision is all around me. I look up at my new ceiling and am reminded of that $25,000 later, we have a new roof and ceilings. I had no budget for a new roof. God funded the entire project. What a perfect plan of God to give me a daily visual of his provision. All I have to do is look up. It’s a constant reminder that He can be trusted, that prayer works and that he sees our need.
There are many opposed to what we do, but the One on our side is the only one that matters. After all, if God is for us, then who can be against us. I fight daily to bring the truth of the word to guys who struggle with same sex attraction. The fruit of my obedience plays out in the lives of people around me, in the church I attend and in the restored relationship with my father. When I walked away from homosexuality, I had to ask myself which fight was more worth fighting: my right to be gay at all costs or the right of every man, ‘gay and loving it’ or ‘gay and debating it’, to choose his own destiny and purpose. I chose the latter, because the truth of Jesus Christ altered the course of my life.